well i dunno

Apologies to Ms. Calder and any other readers who eagerly logged in monday morning to see my sunday night update and were disappointed to find none. i admit, i was being lazy. and i had no idea my followers were so loyal. but here i am now :)
my tummy hurts as i just ate a huge piece of lemon cake with a whipped cream and raspberries. yumyum (free baking tip of the week: get any boxed cake mix. add 1 can of diet/zero cal. soda and nothing else. bake. enjoy low cal cake. lemon cake + sprite= yumo)
today was a particularly manic monday followed by another up and down again kinda week and weekend. i just can't figure out what i'm feeling but i wonder now if that even matters...
here's the sitch:
when last we met, banana man said the "action" wasn't the "whole story" and we both pledged to hang out early last week. monday comes and goes, until late-ish monday night he texts wanting to hang out. the dude does not understand that a 5am alarm and a late night unplanned "hang out" session do not mix. so i promised to hang out tuesday.
Tuesday comes and i have dinner plans with stacy and her boy and he chooses not to join us, but i had a bag and headed over to his place after dinner. it was easily 10:45 by the time i got there, a good 45 mins past my bed time. he was feeling sick and was in pajamas and i literally got into bed with him, watched an episode of seinfeld, fooled around for about 10 mins before we both fell asleep.
and that was our tuesday date.
the rest of the week came and went without any plans made between us, which was fine, cause the set up and i were meeting for the first time on friday (more on that in .2).
sure enough, 15 mins into my date with the set up, i get a text from banana man asking the usual, "what's up girl?'. obviously i don't reply til 2 hrs later when i hit the bathroom. and obviously i don't tell him i'm on a date, but i see what he's up to.
the set up ends around 10:45 and we part ways and banana man hasn't replied to my text so i head home, eat some tots and throw on pjs. not 2 mins after washing my face does banana man reply. he's at a bar on my side of town. tells me to come out.
i toss the idea back and forth in my head...i'm pooped. but i want to see him. even if it is a lame booty call. but he is all the way up on my side of town. so i throw my clothes back on and head back out.
i walk into the crowded karaoke dive bar and barely find him at a table with some other guys, which i meet, and i assume he works with (though i can't be sure). one guy is really nice and tries to engage me in conversation but it's ridiculously loud in there i can barely hear. banana man's flirty at first, but then barely talks and before i know it, he's leaning back and complaining of a wicked headache. so roughly 20 minutes after hauling my ass out, he decides he wants to go.
we all head out together and i'm parked right near him and i get a hug, ask when i can see him again and he says soon and i tell him to feel better and that's it.
lame.
saturday afternoon i text him to see how he's feeling.
no answer.
saturday night i head out with my roommates. i drink a bit and text him again. no answer.
in a final fit of desperation which i wish i hadn't been feeling, i text him one last time, sunday night, 8pm saying that i was equally worried and disappointed that i hadn't heard back from him.
he replies, 'oh sorry. drank too much last night and slept all day'. i reply that that was my day too, and that was that.
so now what?
i know that he is not at all right for me. i know that i want and deserve more in anything that could be considered a relationship. i wanted to have the conversation that i was done being his booty call (really dont even like the words booty call. is there a better name for it?). but really kinda like the carefree release of inhibitions i feel about the whole thing. really would rather the fun not stop. and most importantly, if it is to stop, i want it to stop on my terms, not because he just stops texting.
so no idea what, if any, future there will be with banana man.
sigh...

but then there's the set up...
to sum my thoughts on the set up, i'd say were i to clone the personality of the set up, with a little of his height and build, with banana man's overall looks and confidence, i'd be in love.
some background: the set up taught my friend's son in 5th grade and for some reason she's kept in touch with him. knowing my plight of singledom, she thought we'd hit it off. i was up for anything. he was apparently reluctant and was very slow to make the plans with me. but finally friday night we decided to meet up at buffalo wild wings.
i had absolutely no clue what he looked like, other than that he was tall. this was a completely blind date. i show up though and he's not bad looking- little bigger, full head of hair, button down shirt...definitely a dorkier vibe that is more down to earth than anything else. we immediately talk about basketball, as the unlv game was just beginning. right off the bat, he confesses he's a unc fan, but i let that slide since we can share a hatred for Duke.
we talk school (many of his 5th grade students come to my middle school)...we talk sports (he HATES the cowboys. plus for him!) then we talk...camp! he worked at a camp in new york for 8 years and we compared camp war stories left and right. it is so impossible to describe camp to anyone that has never been. but he knew exactly what i was talking about. it was refreshing.
the conversation is pretty steady all night and his excitement for the unlv game was endearing. i am slightly concerned that he only drank diet coke all night, while i chugged down a tall beer over the course of an hour.
at the end of the game we headed out and it was definitely more of a friendly good bye (side arm hug) than romantic and i decide that overall it was definitely a more friendly than flirty date but that's ok.
Sunday night...as i texted banana man, the set up texted me and told me he had fun and wanted to hang again. if nothing else, i've definitely made a friend and i guess we can see if butterflies grow...
so that's the story.
i'm pooped and it's only monday and quite honestly, i'd be quite content with absolutely no plans this coming weekend. remind me of this next sat night if i call you bored.
ok. time for bed.
love you!